I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
