hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
