Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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