I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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