the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
