I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
