The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
