2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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