3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
