? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I enjoy the company of your penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
