sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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