Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
