just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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