It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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