I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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