Having a random hookup so left but love u
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
