If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
