how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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