I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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