porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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