i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
