im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out