Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
only if we run a train.
done.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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