You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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