i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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