no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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