Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
