was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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