i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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