Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
