Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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