right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
