why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
