mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We need to get me chipped asap
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize