420 ftw
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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