dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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