We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize