Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
