i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
