She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize