I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
