community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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