Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
