LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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