ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
