You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
