dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
