I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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