I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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