I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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