Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish you could order shots online.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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