home. puking in laundry basket.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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