I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize