It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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