Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
