What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
