Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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