My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
