We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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