he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
where are my eyebrows?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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