Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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