Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
