i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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