Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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